As a kid, I would do some things that were out of line... mostly revolved around smoking pot, taking acid, and listening to Marilyn Manson. Yeah, I rebelled. But I would have never even thought about yelling at my parents, doing anything (aside from drugs) that would break the law, or get me suspended from school. I never once thought about yelling at my parents, or disrespecting them in any way. If you want to get technical - perhaps the drug use can count as disrespectful... or the music or the Manson t-shirts I'd wear underneath a sweatshirt to school.
Recently my nephews - who are 14 and 11 have been getting in to some really bad stuff.
The older one is gay (fine) and has a serious attitude problem. He yells at my sister and her (dumb ass) husband and is blatantly disrespectful. His grades have gone to shit.
The younger one - well... he's a bit more of a handful. He's been caught drinking her vodka (it's her own fault for not locking it up, IMO) and smoking her husbands cigars (should lock 'em up!). His attitude is piss poor... they let him listen to SLIPKNOT... I MEAN REALLY?!?!?! I don't think they've ever even taken the time to listen to Slipknot. That is some of the angriest music I've ever heard in my life. I chalk it up to lazy parenting on my sisters behalf.
However, aside from the smoking/drinking/poor choice of music - something of a little more concern is that he's been starting fires in the house and the guest house at their property. Most recently he started a fire at a public park that got out of control and he called 911. Now he is in trouble with the cops... at age 11... for arseny.
The more I think about it the more I have to blame it on my sister. She is a great person - I love her, she's my sister. But she's lazy. Too lazy to lock up their booz... too lazy to go outside and smoke and/or put up their cigaretts/cigars. Too lazy to screen the music that her kids are listening to. Too lazy to enforce a living environment that is centered around what is right. Too naive to realize that her actions with her husband - from the smoking to the spending to the fighting - come across on her kids and their behaviors. I mean what 14 year old's know where to find their mother's dildo?!?!
I am just absolutely furious about the parenting style and the life choices my sister has made (and that's a completely different post). These kids are in a very impressionable time in their lives and she is not contributing to healthy growth.
When I was their age - I made mistakes. But I was certainly not out of control like they are. I had so much respect for my parents that - even though I did drugs - I was very good at not getting caught. I was smart about it... I had no urge to sneak out or get into trouble. I'm not saying I never got caught, but if you look at the ratio of things I've done vs. things I've been caught doing - I have a great record!
Also - with free access to the internet, IM, and text messages - who knows what my nephews are being exposed to. Now, I've been around the internets a few times and I've probably seen it all... I've seen almost every version of fucked up porn, every gruesome death photo, beheadings, videos of kids beating a homeless guy to death, or raping a girl etc... that is available. There is not much that could shock/offend me.
I've seen the crazy ass shows such as Jack Ass and Nitro Circus and the trash that we all can't get enough of called Reality TV. While we may not think much of this as adults who have "seen it all"... what type of influence does this have on kids?
Are the forms of entertainment that I love the most going to be the downfall of the generations to come b/c society is too enthralled by the shocking? The internet in all it's glory is so dangerous for children - children who's parents are too lazy and naive to realize what's really going on with their own kids.
Recently my nephews - who are 14 and 11 have been getting in to some really bad stuff.
The older one is gay (fine) and has a serious attitude problem. He yells at my sister and her (dumb ass) husband and is blatantly disrespectful. His grades have gone to shit.
The younger one - well... he's a bit more of a handful. He's been caught drinking her vodka (it's her own fault for not locking it up, IMO) and smoking her husbands cigars (should lock 'em up!). His attitude is piss poor... they let him listen to SLIPKNOT... I MEAN REALLY?!?!?! I don't think they've ever even taken the time to listen to Slipknot. That is some of the angriest music I've ever heard in my life. I chalk it up to lazy parenting on my sisters behalf.
However, aside from the smoking/drinking/poor choice of music - something of a little more concern is that he's been starting fires in the house and the guest house at their property. Most recently he started a fire at a public park that got out of control and he called 911. Now he is in trouble with the cops... at age 11... for arseny.
The more I think about it the more I have to blame it on my sister. She is a great person - I love her, she's my sister. But she's lazy. Too lazy to lock up their booz... too lazy to go outside and smoke and/or put up their cigaretts/cigars. Too lazy to screen the music that her kids are listening to. Too lazy to enforce a living environment that is centered around what is right. Too naive to realize that her actions with her husband - from the smoking to the spending to the fighting - come across on her kids and their behaviors. I mean what 14 year old's know where to find their mother's dildo?!?!
I am just absolutely furious about the parenting style and the life choices my sister has made (and that's a completely different post). These kids are in a very impressionable time in their lives and she is not contributing to healthy growth.
When I was their age - I made mistakes. But I was certainly not out of control like they are. I had so much respect for my parents that - even though I did drugs - I was very good at not getting caught. I was smart about it... I had no urge to sneak out or get into trouble. I'm not saying I never got caught, but if you look at the ratio of things I've done vs. things I've been caught doing - I have a great record!
Also - with free access to the internet, IM, and text messages - who knows what my nephews are being exposed to. Now, I've been around the internets a few times and I've probably seen it all... I've seen almost every version of fucked up porn, every gruesome death photo, beheadings, videos of kids beating a homeless guy to death, or raping a girl etc... that is available. There is not much that could shock/offend me.
I've seen the crazy ass shows such as Jack Ass and Nitro Circus and the trash that we all can't get enough of called Reality TV. While we may not think much of this as adults who have "seen it all"... what type of influence does this have on kids?
Are the forms of entertainment that I love the most going to be the downfall of the generations to come b/c society is too enthralled by the shocking? The internet in all it's glory is so dangerous for children - children who's parents are too lazy and naive to realize what's really going on with their own kids.
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Dude, we all make mistakes but they're mistakes because we learned from them and grew, something in the 'mistake' helped us become a better person, learn a moral or something but when those mistakes cross the line is when others can be physically harmed OR the law is involved.
ReplyDeleteWizard and I aren't 'normal' parents, we pick up TinMan's phone at anytime and read ALL or some of his text messages, no child in our home is allowed to have an email address, myspace or facebook without our knowledge AND having the password, they change the password without telling us and we take away the computer, that simple.
As for the disrespect, I go straight back to the old school...cuss and I'll wash your mouth out with soap, talk back more than I feel is needed and I'll was your mouth out with soap..harsh? Maybe, works, hell ya!
Children NEED limits, most parents feel guilty about setting those limits, I don't...I'm not their friend, when they're 30 I'll be their friend until then I deserve and they deserve respect, limits and love. My guess is your sister isn't paying enough attention to him/them (my observation since I don't know them or your sister) but I would suggest counseling...family and individual!
Oh and as for technology and TV the computer is in a public space...and the only one with a TV in their room is TinMan and he's only able to watch DVDs...unheard of in our world today but maybe if parents got off their cell phones, left happy hour, came home from work, the mall and spa appointments all these 'extras' wouldn't be needed to entertain their kids. You hit the nail on the head....parents don't parent much anymore and that distrubs me more than anything. Witch wanted to get Lion a TV for her room for Christmas...why? Because Scarecrow, Lion and Munchkin fight over the TV....F that...work it out or you could just BE A PARENT and say look you get to watch what you want for an hour, then you and then you....as Lion said when we got the new car with DVD Munchkin hogs the DVD in the van...I said that's your moms van...this is MY car....which means not gonna happen...they all know the rules are different at our house and they all act accordingly...its all about expectations.
Sorry for the dissertation but you struck a nerve!